How does it feel to be looked after?

The experience of being looked after is highly individual. Some young people have been in the same foster or residential home for as long as they can remember, and many lead happy and stable lives.

Being looked after may bring the relief of being safe and well cared for. However, it usually involves adjusting to a new home, perhaps a change of school, being uprooted from a familiar neighbourhood and friends and coping with complex emotions.

A looked after child or young person may experience some or all of the following:

• sudden removal from home
• intrusive investigation, perhaps including intimate medical examination
• fear of the unknown
• mourning the loss of a parent or other family members and friends
• anxiety about the welfare of their parents or other family members
• separation from brothers and sisters
• feelings of rejection
• frequent moves, perhaps with little or no warning
• changes of school, and maybe periods of non-attendance or not being on a school roll
• embarrassment at being ‘looked after’ or ‘in care’
• the belief that teachers and ‘officials’ know all about you or that they don’t know you at all
• feeling excluded from ‘normal’ family life and opportunities.

Despite this they may also have very positive feelings about being looked after. For example:

• feeling safe
• having a better quality living environment
• having a sense of routine and stability
• no longer having to care for younger siblings or other family members
• feeling cared for
• there being someone looking after them instead of having to look after themselves
• being allowed to 'be a child'
• people believing in them
• encouragement from adults
• someone taking an interest in them
• having the chance to experience better relationships with their families
• getting more help with school.