Bereavement and loss
There is increasing concern about the emotional needs of children and young people experiencing bereavement and loss. There is also evidence that children and young people who have experienced the death of a parent are at increased risk of developing mental health problems. While most do not require professional help, they do need support with the process of grieving and adjustment. Such support will reduce the potential social and academic effects of feelings that may not have been expressed.
Mourning
A period of mourning is necessary for any child or young person facing prolonged separation from a loved one: for example, through death or divorce. The mourning process lasts about six months and may include:
- an initial stunned/shocked phase, lasting from a few hours to about two weeks
- a mourning phase, during which the bereaved person experiences sadness, distress, irritability, a preoccupation with the person who has died and sometimes hallucinatory experiences
- acceptance and readjustment.
In some cases, grief may be delayed or inhibited; in others, the grief reaction may develop into depression or other physical and mental health problems.
Responses that vary with age
Adults supporting children and young people must be aware of and sensitive to the different developmental needs and variations in their responses to loss, depending on their age when the loss occurred.
For example, children are most likely to display indirect responses such as:
- withdrawal
- sleep disruption
- stealing
- attention seeking
- eating problems.
Adolescents are more likely to experience their feelings more directly but may also try to suppress them and appear indifferent.
However the child or young person expresses his or her grief, it is important that a sympathetic adult is available who will listen and support the process of:
- accepting the loss
- dealing with the pain
- adjusting to life without the person lost
- emotionally moving on.
What can families do?
If your child has experienced some form of loss at home, you should let the school or class teacher know so that appropriate considerations can be made.
It could be that understanding and sympathy at school or class level is enough to support the child. If necessary, however, the school may be able to provide further support and services – for example, counselling – or help the child to access such support outside the school.
Useful link
Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland
A charity offering free and confidential bereavement support and care to people who have experienced the loss of someone close.
